What a cliche way to start this post.
I have no idea whether anyone is reading my blog anymore…
If so, hello to you!
This is my first time in 8 months since I’ve been back at this space…
It seems like I write everytime something big happens.
Well, that’s just how it is.
Just a life update…
I quit my job.
You may be wondering, “Huh?! Again?”
I feel like I’m at this stage where I’m still exploring what I want to do in life, and that job wasn’t it.
It was a nice yet harrowing year and a half of the job.
It’s the feeling of trying so hard yet your efforts never get recognised.
Where everyone thinks you can, but deep down I know
I can’t do this anymore.
Some ask me why I made this decision when I definitely need some income while I’m studying…
When I was working, I never did put myself first.
It was all about earning enough money so I won’t have to scrimp and save, and worry about how I’m going to live some part of my life for the couple of months.
It was never about trying to be semi-independent, while I have been since I was 14.
I was trying to prove to myself that I have a purpose in life, the purpose I’ve trying to find since I was 13.
However, all that didn’t make me as happy as I thought it would.
Have you ever been in such a toxic environment that you never thought you would get out of?
Here is me telling you that I got out of a toxic environment, and so can you.
It was too much for me mentally and emotionally that I didn’t feel like myself anymore…
I wasn’t paid enough for what I do and the effort I put in.
Leaving was the best decision I made.
I might not have an income right now, but having time to myself and doing things at my own time and pace really helped me.
Although I’m not completely satisfied, I’m okay with where I am right now.
I can put myself first and always check to see if I’m doing okay.
I can progress and grow as my own person, while finding another job that would fit what I want to do.
Some people may not like me, but I’m not here to please them.
I realised that I really need to get rid of toxic people in my life, those who think that they are better than me and I’ll be never as good.
I am my own person.
Someday I will find my own path in life.
The first step to loving others is to learn to love yourself.
Self care and self love is important, because at the end of the day, I know that I matter deep down inside.
Here’s to pursuing happiness and love that I’ve always dreamed of ❤️.